eggggggs!!!

 my all-time FAVORITE restaurant! i am going there with my friend Khylee today, and i couldnt be more excited. its my go-to for brunch/breakfast food. if anyone says "hey lets go to breakfast" i say EGGS IN THE CITY!!!! it has never failed me, and so therefore i am happy to go there time and time again. i usually get the Mexican or Greek skillets, and it is fantastic! ahhh i am so excited. and then after that i have school and then my cutting technique class after that. Once im finished with that, cade and i are going on a date to a place we both have never been to, called the the copper onion. i am so excited because we both have hear raveeee reviews on how fantastic this place is... so i couldn't be more thrilled to go there with my dearest cadence.
a few days ago i got a letter from matthew and i couldn't believe how happy i was to receive a letter from him! hes in the mtc, and he says hes happy he went but the mtc kind of sucks.... urgh. i dont blame him though, doing church everyday wouldn't be the funnest thing everyday but i am happy hes doing okay!
a friend of mine has also recently decided to get baptized. his names derek and im happy for him. he invited me to go to one of the missionary discussions with him and it was a cool experience to see derek connecting with what they were teaching. it also was cool to look at the missionaries and realize, wow, that's what cades going to be doing. it was kind of funny! after derek and i went over to our friend aubrees house for her surprise party thing... because she also is going on a mission. (do you not see how missions are consuming my life now?!?!)
after that cade came to pick me up and we were going to make this thing on pinterest we thought looked really good, but then we couldnt find the recipe cause his computers lame and so we ended up talking.... and then falling asleep on the ground. wow we are super popular and really lively people. hahahah anyways, we will redeem ourselves tonight with yummy food all around! have a good weekend bloggers. xoxoxstevie

mr merica

missionary. urgh, the word still sits weird in my mouth. i love it, i know there's no where else in the whole would that i would rather him be then serving a mission, its just hard to not be selfish and want him to stay and continue to have fabulous adventures with me. while he prepares to leave, it has put a lot of things into perspective for us. people ask us funny, yet normal questions like... are you waiting? do you want her to wait for you? are you guys going to get married blah blah blah.

no im not necessarily waiting for him... im going to date. 

he wants me to enjoy my two years as well as his.

and marriage, were 20.... why would we even think of such things?!

bottom line, i love him. a ton. someone totally knew what they were doing when they made that kid.... the perfect fit for me. he gets me like no body else ever has. we both enjoy little things. thats the perfect word to describe us... enjoy. its not some crazy, mad rush of passion. it never has been. we have always been just fact, i love him,he loves me, we love each others company and what we both are about with and without each other. theres no room for the other fluff. sure, he makes me happy, makes me want to be a better person everyday. makes me want to be temple worthy, makes me want to embrace every moment, makes me want to be honest, makes me want to just be anything that i feel. he treats me like no body has ever treated me before. he's the best. one of my favorite memories with him is we were driving, (dont remember where, probably somewhere lame like state street haha) and a song came on, (don't remember what one) and it felt like we were in a music video. like everything could just stop and stay still forever and it wouldn't even matter. and i just looked at him driving, i dont know what he was thinking, but i just looked over and said, "this moment is perfect, i am so content with just being alive right now and i could relive the simplicity of this moment over and over again forever." ill never forget his face, he looked at me, smiled, reached for my hand and we went on driving. life is so awesome. i know i'm going to ramble on about him for the next little while, and who knows however long after that... even though i dont know what the next journey brings us, i just know that i wouldnt want to have been through the past few years without him xoxo

this isnt like "our song" or anything creepy like that, this is just a mutual favorite song as of lately. its an oldie, but goodie and its a good mood song for driving, starting your day, ending it, and anything that may fall inbetween :)

manifestation.

Like I have said in previous posts, im not one for ”resolutions.” People forget them, push them aside, decide they’re too hard or difficult and live like the same way. I, for a while have been reading many books on positive thinking to sum it up. Ive read and watched movies on The Secret, read many Toltec Philosophy books and so on… Although I do believe that there is power in positive thinking, I also am LDS, and believe that through God, these things are possible, not just me aimlessly hoping for things and putting no work into it. However, some of their ideas in the books and movies that I have watched, have had interesting tatics on how to keep the dreams, wants, and desires alive. Some recommend making a Dream Board, some have you list what you want and then write and such inside of you for why you really want these things and so forth… I may try those one day but for me, I decided to make a list for things that I want to Manifest in my life.

The definition of manifest is…

 1-clear or obvious the the eye or mind

 2-display or show (a quality or feeling) by ones acts or appearance

Interesting.  So I write down a list of things that I want to be better at, continue to do, and also a version of a short-term “bucket list”. There are so many things that I see people doing or things that I randomly think of and I think, dang. If only I could do that, Uh… HELLO!!!! Why cant i?!? so I made this list of things I want to do. It has already helped me a lot. I have, in some way already accoplished some of the things on this list. Example, I deleted my facebook (… a month ago maybe?) because it isn’t productive and it takes away from being in the moment. And so on and so forth. I am going to write in my journal of thee experiences, blog about them, and also put this list where I can see it every day and be reminded of what is important to me, and who knows, maybe I will add to it as time goes on! Happy Sunday xoxo

thoughts?

"no man knows how bad he is till he has tried very hard to be good.

 a silly idea is current that good people do not know what temptation means, 

this is an obvious lie. 

only those who try to resist temptation know how strong it is.

 after all, you find out the strength of the German army

 by fighting against it, not by giving in.

 you find out the strength of a wind 

by trying to walk against it, not by lying down. 

a man who gives in to temptation after five minutes,

 simply does not know what it would have been like an hour later.

 that is why bad people, in one sense, know very little about badness.

 they have lived a sheltered life by always giving in. 

we never find out the strength of the evil impulse inside us until we try to fight it"

interesting. i dont know if i necessarily believe in this quote but i certainly found it interesting.... my thoughts about this have always been, there is not testimony without a test. how do you know that something feels right, if you have felt something wrong before? how do you know happiness if you have never been sad. how can you call yourself grateful, if you feel you have lived without. this quote makes sense to me though, what are your thoughts on it? i would be interested to know!

ode to mattchu

I knew this day had to come eventually. my two best friends are leaving within one month of each other, crazy! Matthew bauer,  so weird! When I first met this kid, it was in jr high with my friend Jordan Jenkins. I didn’t think much of it, I knew who he was in high school, I would see him around but never really got to know him. It wasn’t until I started hanging out with cade and paul, that I really did begin to get to know him. SO FUNNY! Seriously, we could laugh about anything, and it was always a good time. We all lived in the same neighborhood and we were in the same ward together. We were doing things we shouldn’t have been doing,  and we definitely weren’t being any sort of help to each other, but then again, why would we be? We thought we were all having the times of our lives. No cares in the world…  well,  then Matt moved out with our friend Berrett and his cousin. We still saw him a lot because we went over to the apartment often… well, when cade decided to go on a mission, I can’t lie I was kind of bugged. Why would he want to stop having fun and hanging out with all of our friends for a weird thing like church. Sure, I believed it all was true but I didn’t find it necessary to stop our current lifestyle. We weren’t doing anything that crazy… anyways I slowly came around and realized that the life I was living, wasn’t for me either so we slowly distanced ourselves from those situations. It was really good because I saw an instant change in my life. I was more productive, more motivated, genuinely happier, and at that moment, I knew I had made the right decision, and cade felt the same. Well, it was great during the week, but when the weekend would roll around, everyone of our usual friends, would all go to Matt and Berretts to hang out. Cade and I would go once every month or so, but not even that usually. We just got to the point when it wasn’t fun watching the same people, do the same things and act the same way. It was one of the hardest things I have ever done, to stop hanging out with the people I became so close with.  It wasn’t because they weren’t awesome people, because they were. It was just hard for cade and I to keep saying no, and not feeling on the same level as everyone else. It was really hard because they were my best friends for so long, but we had to give it up. Well, a few months went by and then matt told us he moved out. HUGE SHOCKER!!! And from that point on, he never looked back. He stopped giving into the temptations and got ready to serve an lds mission. I couldn’t believe it. I was sooooo ecstatic! Well, the rest is history! From that moment on, we were inseparable. We did everything together. And it wasn’t even like it was cade and I and then the 3^rd wheel matt, it was just like we all three were best friends. We talked about everything together, life, family, friends, future hopes and dreams, jobs, frustrations, happiest moments in our life…. Everything. We became each others life lines. If any of us ever thought of giving up, there were always two people helping them back out of the funk that they were in. we laughed together, cried together, yelled at each other… the whole thing. We all couldn’t believe that in a few short months, all of us would be separated, but then again not really. We all were stronger people. We knew that in 2 years, we would all be back to hanging out and being best friends all over again. on friday night, the celebrations began! we went to dinner at (you all know this) but my favorite Bonsai! matt hasnt been there and he was sick of all of us talking about how delicious it was so he said that was the one thing he wanted to do before he left! haha Matt had his farewell talk on sunday and did amazing. Looking back one year ago, he is a changed man, and I can only imagine what the next two will do for him. We hung out at his house after with some of our friends and talked, he came and hung out with us Monday night, and then Tuesday afternoon, matt and I went to mcdonalds for our last ice cream sundae,  and mcdouble with big mac sauce. It was so nice to be able to hang out and talk once again but it was beginning to sink in that we only had a few hours left. He dropped me off and asked if cade and I would come to his setting apart that night, Of course we said yes. Matt bore his testimony and I felt the spirit so strongly. At the end, he turned to cade and I and told us, that he knew he wouldn’t have been able to go on a mission if it wasn’t for us two. Cade and I were already bawling, so you can imagine what happened after he said that. Right after he bore his testimony he got up to get set apart, his sister and mom said quick, you have to hug stevie. Matt and I just looked at each other and started cryin again. We both hugged and I  knew I was having to say goodbye to my best friend. After we went to his house with paul, maddi, mikey and parker and just hung out and spent the last few hours we could with him. We finally left and that was it. I texted him right when I got home and sent him my testimony.  We talked back and forth for a minute but then stopped. I thought that was going to be the last time we talked until we wrote letters. He then texted me out of the blue while i was at work…

Matt-hey, I love you and thanks for being the best friend ever.

Me-I love you too matt, don’t forget it!

Matt-I couldn’t forget about you

Me-stop this nonsense, youre making me cry at work!

Matt-im sorry L I had to say it though

Me- love ya to meridia and back!

Matt-hahahhaha thanks, youre the best

Me-no, im not!

Matt-haha, but I love you, im about to get dropped off. Write to me and pray for me.

Me-I will matt, love you. 

Matt-thanks, see you in 2.

Uh, yeah I was crying at work. It just hit me again, that he was going to be gone forever. No more late night chats, no more temple together, no more rancheritos, no more funny texts, no more tanning buddies, no more mcdonalds, no more shopping, not for 2 years. I am so happy and grateful that hes going on a mission though, matt has a way about him that will make everyone feel special. He will do so well and I am so excited to hear about his successes!  Urgh, enough of this nonsense… one down, one to go, wish me luck! J

cade, myself, matt, paul and maddi at bonsai

berrett, cade, me, matt, maddi and paul at matts house after his farewell talk on sunday

at his setting apart. this was after we all were crying so all of our eyes look a little red and squinty

see you in two matt!!!!!!!

interesting.

this is so good. i really like the way he says this! 

and the news is...

McAllen Texas Mission. 
Spanish Speaking
leaves.... February 15th 2011.


WHAHOO!!! ive never had so many emotions run through my body at one time. there was excitement, saddness, nervous... EVERYTHING! elder merica, i like it :) at first i was sad because he left so soon, but the sooner he leaves, the sooner he will return! the day he opened it was december 27th, and he was sooooo sick. he has been snowboarding earlier and got the flu in the middle of a run! so when he opened it i couldnt tell if he was happy about it or not, he opened it and then went straight to bed (hense no pictures)...the next day he felt a million times better and was soooo excited. we were both reading through all of the things he needed to get, reading the information about his mission presidents, everything! i am so proud andhappy for him! the next 2 years are going to be tough, but theres no where on earth i would rather him be, then on this mission!!!!
my family through a party for him to celebrate... all mexican food, virgin margaritas, the whole thing with decorations and what not. mother loves throwing parties!!! it was fun my whole family was there, elys girlfriend, and our best friend matt came and celebrated his awesome occasion!!!


let the countdown begin.....

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chirstmasssss

Christmas is always a special one here at the hansgen residence! we always are happy, baking random things, finding the perfect gift, wrapping it, opening them and spending time with the people we love the most. this year i did the 12 days of christmas for cade, and he loved it! i was having such a hard time figuring out something to get him. he put in his mission papers a few weeks prior and at the time we had no clue where he was going or when he was going to be leaving. so i didnt want to get him anything that would just seem to go to waste, so i did the 12 days for him and it turned out great! here is the list of things i got him....
1-blanket. this was mainly for me because i hate all the blankets he has at his house
2-posters. the kid loves posters as well as decor for his walls at home. i got him a led zepplin one and a sweeeeet bob marley one.
3- i got three of my favorite memories of us, got a picture from each one, and wrote why i loved each one so much.
4- shirts-cause i love buying him cute clothes
5-arizona teas, cause hes in love
6-a mini six pack of soda for lunches at work and such
7-ties- for the mission. he always makes comments about how all his ties are the same so i got him some different ones!
8-pairs of church socks- one in every color possible
9-we were supposed to go on a date at 9:00, but then i got too excited so we did it at like 5...for our date we made a sweet gingerbread house!!!
10-we both have an obseshhh with incense  so i bought him 10 things of them and a sweet holder.
11-i wrote him a huge long letter about the 11 reasons why i love him
12-he was going to star valley so i made him 12 cookies to take down there... other then it was more like 12x10.... ahhahah thats okay right?

anyways, nothing big but it was so fun sneaking them into his house everyday, so that usually when he came home, there was a surprise waiting for him :) as for me, my christmas was awesome! i got a laptop!!!! i wanted one so bad but i was almost positive i wasnt going to get it! such a good surprise! everyone in my family loved my gifts, what else is new though right?! anyways, it was such a good and happy time for me :) i hope everyone else's was awesome as well!!!! merry merry xoxoxstevie

we get pj's every christmas eve, this year they were legit long johns. ive never been more happy in my life!

best dog in the world!!!!

making some sweet tunes with my gramps christmas days visit!

me, trying so hard to talk father into letting me get a puppy of my own.... fail.